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After the haze of last night’s revelry dissipated, we packed our things and boarded an evening bus to Vang Vieng, Lao PDR’s party capital.  It was a bumpy ride on partially paved roads through the county’s hills.  That’s the funny thing about roads in Lao, a patch of 20km will be paved, and nice I might add, while the next 20km would not be.  I had read somewhere that in exchange for all the lumber they could plunder China was supposed to be paving the roads in Lao.  If that’s true, they’re taking these duties with only a small shred of seriousness.

Stepping off the bus at around 11pm - the town seemed quiet as a crypt.The one horse main road stretched on sleepily, dotted by leaning half-lit restaurants and empty bars.  One lone backpacker stumbled drunk, hooting in the night.

Had we missed the party?

After resting off our daytime bike trip, Andrea and I thought we should treat ourselves to some food and drink. We started off at the rooftop bar Bor Pennyang, elevated four stories and offering a good view of the Mekong.  Along with our beers, I ordered a plate of nachos.  It was a mistake.  What I got were red hot Doritos with a smattering of cheese, olives and about a syringe full of sour cream.  Frankly, I’ve never had a good experience with Nachos outside of the States (even though I visited Mexico. I don’t believe I had them there), so I don’t know why I keep subjecting myself to them.  Even in Argentina, what I got were puff pastries with watery cheese sauce.

The scene was typical Southeast Asian, the bar was packed with ex-pats, sex-pats, rowdy backpackers and bar girls.  We watched it all with a mixture of amusement and desire until closing time came at 11:30.  When the lights dimmed we stole to the next venue.

Samlo Pub was close to our guesthouse and stayed open later than most so we dipped in for a drink.  It was a smokey dive steadily filling up with the leftover bargirls and sex-pats from Bor Pennyang.  We took them in stride and danced sensuously with whoever happened to walk by. 

Soon Andrea was speaking to a gay Lao about the next place to go.  He introduced us to an elegant woman with short auburn hair, slender build and impeccable style who may have just been a man.  Her name was Lisa and she told us about a rooftop club a few clocks out of town.  I was sold by the idea and the mystery of Lisa.  Though Andrea and I had our suspicions we were far to polite to ask the magic question.

In the chill of the night air, I’m perched on the back of Lisa’s bike with one hand on her waist the other lifting the rest of my beer to my lips.  Cooled by our drive, wind flowing all through my ‘hawk, I marvel at the situation.  On the back of a motorbike, sipping brew with a charming androgyne, feeling the night and life acutely on the smoothest road I’ve ever experienced. 

We parked.  We got off our bikes, Andrea had ridden with one of Lisa’s girlfriends, and stepped onto an elevator headed for the sky.  When we got there, Lisa sorted us all out, taking our money, conversing with the doormen, getting us drink tickets.  She was a peach.

Inside the laser-lit and smokey uberclub we danced languidly, joked and flirted, the drinks flowed.  I went through the crowd to take in the other party goers. I was stopped by a slender lighter skinned Lao girl in a floral pattern dress. She grabbed my hand and talked me up.  Though she was overwhelmingly attractive, I walked on having clocked her for a working girl.  I told her I’d be back though.

Soon this place too was losing it’s luster, or perhaps we were losing our steam, and we decided to leave.  Lisa was also keen. While we discusses the girl who I’d spoken to earlier walked by and came to me.  “I thought you were coming back?” “Sorry I got tied up with my friends…”  She kissed my lips suggestively and looked into my eyes deeply.  Though I was a bit too drunk to do a thing and she passed by me.  I smiled and shrugged to my mini-audience.

Back on the bikes, me with Lisa again and Andrea with some combative ladyboy who’s bike exhaust pipe burned her leg.  With smile we disappeared into the fading night just as quickly as we had came.

Since Andrea was in the next town over, Luang Prabang, she decided to meet me in Vientiane a few days after I arrived.  We spent our day riding bikes through town.

I was trying to follow the Lonely Planet bike tour guide through the city, so we started out riding to the embassy.  I was about as exciting as it sounds.

Next up was the Patuxay Arch.

Patuxai Victory Gate or Gate of Triumph, formerly the Anousavary or Anosavari Monument, is a war monument in the centre of Vientiane, Laos, which was built between 1957 and 1968. Patuxai is dedicated to those who fought in the struggle for independence from France.

We parked our bikes right outside.

Walking the long lane to the arch itself, we marveled at the crude juxtaposition of  Lao architectural elements on a crude French triumphal structure.  Inside the arch the ceiling glittered with gold leafed flourishes.

After paying the admission fee, we walked up into the upper levels of the arch, gaining stellar views of the people and eventually the city below.

Andrea pulled a shadowy pose in the large arched window

At the penultimate floor, to our surprise we saw a bustling business area full of night market-style stalls selling all sorts of trinkets and souvenirs.  At one of the stalls, I met my future ex-wife and bought a large old silver Lao coin from her.

Isn’t she cute as a button?

Thought I was a bit annoyed since I felt like we basically paid to get into a mall, once we stepped out into the balcony and saw the view I forgot it all.

After taking some pics, we headed back down to the bottom floor where I had hidden in my bike basket a cream puff. Having worked up a powerful hunger during our ride, I devoured it greedily.

Onward back to the riverside, I spied a museum.  Making an illegal and semi-dangerous u-turn, Andrea and I cycled into the entrance of Xieng Khuan - The Buddha Park. 

The park was started in 1958 by Luang Pu (Venerable Grandfather) Bunleua Sulilat. Luang Pu Bunleua Sulilat was a priest-shaman who integrated Hinduism and Buddhism. His unique perspective was influenced by a Hindu rishi under whom he studied in Vietnam. After the revolution in 1975, he fled from Laos to Thailand where he built another sculpture park, Sala Keoku in Nong Khai. He fled because his anti-Communist beliefs conflicted with the views of the Pathet Lao. After Luang Pu Bunleua Sulitat left, the state took control of his garden and made it into a public park.

Unfortunately it was closed when we got there, so we had a nice stroll around the grounds which were littered with attractively crude Buddha statues and headstones. 

We also ran into a modelling shoot.

I’m not quite sure what it was for but thought the model was gorgeous.

From Buddha Park we made our way to the promentade - a long strip of paved parkland running alongside the Mekong.  At one point we came across a group of cows mooing loudly.

Due to the quality of the light at that time of day and the appearance of the landscape, I was transported to the digital world of Red Dead Redeption.

When we got bored of making mooing noises at the cows we proceeded to the end of the promenade, where the 8 meter tall statue of King Chao Anouvong.

He stands out of place, overlooking the river, a strange sight in this part of town where only empty spaces and deteriorating buildings inhabit.

By the end of our trip through the capital we were tired and sweaty. We turned in our rental bikes, showered and hit Joma Bakery for a snack

After spending a shocking amount of time in Chiang Mai (which I loved, truthfully), waiting for money to arrive after losing both, yes both, of my debit cards I decided it was time to hit the road and dip into Lao - the next destination on my open-ended adventure.

For 900 baht I boarded a night bus to Vientiane, the capital of Lao.  It was a minibus (read minivan) and it was rough.  The van was packed with passengers, which is per usual in Asia) and I had little to no legroom. We ran across an awesome little bodega along the way though:

Sleep came easily but it was neither restful nor comfortable - I think I snored quite a bit.

After border crossing we arrived in Vientiane at around 7am at the Thai embassy since this was designated as a “visa run” bus. 

My first impressions of the town were pretty dismal.  It looked run down and dusty.  The kind of look of one-horse Mexican towns you see in old westerns with chickens running to and fro crowded with dilapidated adobe buildings.

My tuk tuk ride into the city center did little to alleviate my concerns.  The buildings along the Mekong river looked slightly more pleasant but the city retained the stain of a place in perpetual malaise. Not what I think of when I imagine a capital city at all.

My only hope was that the town had not yet shown me it’s oyster.